Everyone is capable of learning given their right Representational System. Speaking to a dear friend of mine who was distraught I learnt that her child has been made to feel that she isn’t ‘normal’. The terms thrown around were ADD, Dyslexia and a whole host of other issues that require OT, Speech therapy and the works. This pressure to have our children fit in a box is all consuming.
I was subjected to the same experience and challenges. My son is certainly unique, a boy wiser than his years in emotional maturity. His chosen way of coping with life and using his imagination was something that was out of the ordinary. It was deemed a concern by teachers so he was referred to an educational psychologist. I was told that he could be on the spectrum for Autism.
A mother’s instincts shouldn’t be ignored
This diagnosis knocked the wind out of me at first. I got incredibly emotional and my need to protect my child was heightened. My initial response was to defend. As hard as it was for me to put my pincers away, I am a Cancerian, my training as a qualified Montessori teacher, helped me to remember to observe and follow the child. So that is what I did. I removed my emotions as best as I could and I started looking at my child and his needs.
Having started speaking late in life, he was on the back foot in terms of his vocabulary and articulation. Naturally he wasn’t at the same level as his peers. My goal was to not let this setback knock his confidence. So I agreed to the speech therapy. I was also told that he needed OT. I obliged only because my boy wasn’t an active child by nature. If I left him in one spot, he would happily stay there the whole day especially if there were devices available. I chose to put him in a smaller class that was offered to ensure that he got the extra attention needed so as to build his self-esteem.
I blocked out the noise and focused on what would benefit him most. Today he is in the 1st Team for sport, an A student and the one giving heartfelt speeches at birthday parties.
Everyone is capable of learning
Society are very quick to put labels on people based on the behaviours they exhibit. A child that isn’t able to concentrate has ADD or a person that isn’t speaking as much as the person next to him is an Introvert. Given the right interventions, encouragement and opportunity any person is able to thrive and show their unique qualities. The key is too look deeper at the individual. In a world where there are 30 kids to a class on average, a teacher isn’t able to always get it right.
A child or adult for that matter that isn’t able to concentrate may be using the wrong representational system or may be receiving information in a way that doesn’t match their learning style. For example, perhaps your representational system is that of Kinesthetic person, your learning style is through touch and feel. Listening to a story or podcast is not going to help you stay focused and retain the information. You would need to touch, feel or have props or be engaged in role play to learn best.
Everyone is capable of learning when using the correct representational system.
Here are 3 things to do if you find yourself in this position
Share this article with your friends should they be experiencing this too.
- Have a good cry and vent with a friend about how ridiculous this system is. That all these professionals are conspiring with one another and bullying you and your child. (I have done it, I have heard it and I’m pretty sure you have thought it 😊!) Once you have done this, now choose to toss your emotions aside.
- Look at your child, observe them and acknowledge any challenges they may be experiencing. Now take control of your situation by thinking about which interventions do you believe will best help your child and boost their confidence. Let’s be honest, everyone does want to fit in and be ‘normal’.
- Be patient and give it the required time it needs. You are building your child’s foundation and giving them every opportunity to flourish in the future.
You have got this! But if this is overwhelming you, seek out guidance or a listening ear.