For the first 20 years of your life, it’s all about your parents and elders. Doing things that make them proud.
In your 20s, you are focused on building your career and gaining independence. In your 30s it’s about your partners and possibly children. So, by the time you get to your 40s, the chances are that your cup is empty or nearly empty.
Practising self-love ensures that you don’t burn out. Often we have this misconception that self-love is about loving thyself, akin to vanity and selfishness. But, self-love means different things to different people. In the same breath, it can also be defined as “love of self” or “regard for one’s own happiness” which is a basic human need.
We were brought up to believe that to be a good person, you have to put everyone else’s needs first before your own. You may be a good person but will you be a happy person if those in your life are not reciprocating? If you are looking to or waiting for your partners, friends and family members to fulfil you, then sadly you will be waiting a long time. No one knows you and understands what you need more than yourself!
How to practice self-love:
- Firstly, dispel any feelings of guilt that you may have or any beliefs that self-love is a selfish act
- Choose to discover what it is that makes you happy and put pen to paper
- Take action – take the necessary steps towards getting what you desire
- Start thinking positive thoughts, positive thoughts lead to positive action
- Never give up on yourself – for most of us this action of self-love will take us out of our comfort zone.
Our neurology will start creating reasons why you shouldn’t find self-love which equates to happiness. Reasons like, “There is no time” or “Thinking about what I need or desire is selfish”. Persevere!
A happier more fulfilled you will bring out the best in you! Your cup will be full and you will have much more to give.